Will
Legacy Name: Will

"So, where do I go from here?" Will was sitting on the examination table, clutching his stomach. The smell of disinfectant was overpowering, the air especially frigid; it's like someone just dialed up the clarity of life. Bad news does that, sometimes. The room spun with the impact of reality; he was about to be sick.

"Well, that's really up to you." He was a grey-haired man, kind face...the kind of man you'd expect to be a long-time practitioner within a small city in need of doctors. "I would highly suggest medicinal treatment, we have a number of prescriptions available for-"

Will shot up in his bed, drenched in a cold sweat. The alarm of his phone blared at him, bleeping the predictable tune from his nightstand. With an unsteady hand, the professor tapped away at the welcome screen, trying to return to silence. It was 5 AM on a Thursday morning, and he had experienced the nightmare.

Again.

Standing up abruptly, it was a race to the bathroom; looks like today would be the 3rd day of "the shakes" and intermittent nausea. The sickness from the dream had carried over into the waking world.

After a shower, some breakfast, and getting dressed in the "softest sweater known to man", Will felt better already. The best part of having intermittent nausea is that it's intermittent, right? It'll be gone most of the day. Will smiled to himself and whistled a tune as he shaved his scruffy face; Thursday. And it'll be the best Thursday yet. Will wakes up every morning with this mindset: he has too.

At around 6, Will is racing down the three flights of stairs leading from his small one-bedroom apartment to the parking lot, wanting to get a running start at his ride. The frame of this particular bike claimed to be "lightweight"...but the strain of holding it over his shoulder as he bounded down the stairs proved to be a bit too much for him as his shoulder began to shake. By the last step, it's all he can do to "plop" the bicycle down on the pavement, the aired tires bouncing cheerfully.

Will looked up wistfully at his car parked under the covered area, but buttoned up his jacket and began riding instead. The crisp air stuck in his throat for a moment, the chill sending a shiver down his spine. This was one of the best ways to exercise, the college was only about a mile away, and he left this early for a reason, right? Might as well get the exercise. Down the bike lane he road, out of the complex, past a bank here, a coffee house there. The ground was somewhat slick with yesterday's snow, but luckily for him the sweeper had just gone by. Maybe this was one of the perks of living in such a large city in Maine...the scenery is much better than what he's used too.

Huffing and puffing, his breath forming a thick fog on his glasses, Will finally arrived at the campus.

"Yo, Will!" A young thing ran up to him, his cheeks rosy from the winter frost. Suddenly aware of how sweaty and disheveled he must look, the professor ran his fingers through his hair and took off his glasses to clean.

"Jacob? How did that assignment go?""Yeah about that..."
Will eyed the boy up and down quickly, through his thin brown eyelashes. He was your typical run-of-the-mill college boy. All brawn, no brain, and most certainly not his type. He partied quite a bit, and showed up to class half hung-over most of the time.

"You've had two weeks, man! What were you doing?" Will joked, threading a metal chain through the body of his bicycle.
"Working!" The younger man claimed, smiling and outing his lie.
"I know your parents pay your tuition, Jacob." Will cut a glance at him, finishing the chain loop before his freezing fingers fumbled with the combination lock. It was so cold outside that his warm skin was actually sticking to the metal at this point.
"Man! You gave Mason an extension!"

Mason. A young, fragile boy, thin and somewhat short. Probably not a day over 19, his soft skin a nod to his age. Pale, milky white with a soft pink flush...Mason was more his type. Flashes of the beautiful young man serving him freshly baked cookies one lonely night graced his mind for a moment...his soft hands and warm cheeks. Will busied himself with his lock, concentrating hard on the menial task to push the red heat from his cheeks.

"Well, dude! Give me one!" Jacob whined behind him, snapping Will out of his stupor further.
"Okay." Will laughed, pushing the thoughts away for good. "You knew I'd cave right? You get until tomorrow, but don't spread the word around."
Jacob looked genuinely relieved, heaving a warm breath out into the cold air around him. "Thanks man!"
Will chuckled. "Get to class, I'll be there in a second."

Walking down the sidewalk, his backpack full of papers and other junk weighing him down, he had a moment to look at all the youthful faces scurrying by.

He envied them, mostly. He envied their youth, their happiness, but most of all their health. Would he ever sleep with one of his students that required some "extra credit?" No. Of course not. Not now, anyway....while the tasks he gave them were most certainly inappropriate, he would not travel down that path.

In fact, not very many students even knew about Will's habit; loving the company of young men. The very few students he invited over for the evening were usually just as guilty as he was; after one awkward semester, the two would part ways and for the most part never think of one another again.

After stopping by the lounge to grab a mug of coffee (that actually tasted a bit like burned piss...why didn't he just stop at the Starbucks?) Will was ready to start his day. Everyone was filed in their seats, texting, Facebooking, chatting, and generally happy. Everyone loved Will's class...probably because he was such a pushover.

"Alright! Assignments, time to trade n' grade!" He announced cheerfully, sitting his mug down on his coffee-ring stained desk.
"What? I call bullshit man! Jacob got an extension!" Someone with a thick accent piped up, followed by excited "YEAH!" and "Gip! What a gip!"
Will slowly rolled his head to the side, his eyes trained on a smiling Jacob. The young man shrugged and grimaced an apologetic smile.

An idea hit him; while he was the "fun" professor on campus, these students were in danger of flunking. This was the rudimentary calculus class where students who had already flunked out of the "real" calculus classes were required to take, after all. "Okay then...." Will smiled evilly, a couple of students had already begun groaning after picking up on his tone. "Learning check time then! Let's have a pop quiz to make sure you understand the content on last week' assignment since no one has it to hand in!"

A symphony of sighs erupted from the students, but everyone obliged without further protest. Will jogged down the hallway to make some copies of his ever-ready quiz booklet, and by the time he was back to hand them out everyone was ready. This is what Will really loved; seeing how his teaching progressed with his students. Quizzes were the best, actually; seeing that he had made a difference to some of these kids is what makes his day.

It begins slowly, one book will close, one backpack will zip. It's like a herd of cattle, after one of them notice the time, they all do. The sounds of students gathering their stuff and scratching along paper to finish their assignments and notes crashed against the instruction room halls like a tidal wave.

"Alright! Quizzes at my desk! If you have any questions, stay after!"

One by one, students flung their papers on Will's desk, not saying a word as they filed out. This is how college students act, the only thing that matters is the "now". This hour is this class, this next hour is the next class...never plan ahead. Shuffling through his papers, gathering them in his 1st block folder, Will listened to the classroom go quiet. That is, until a soft deep voice made him nearly jump out of his skin.

"I don't know it."

Will looked up quickly from his backpack, knocking his knuckles hard against the underside of his desk.
"W...what?" he said, a bit surprised.
"I didn't know anything that was on here." Before him stood Christian, one of his students.

Honestly, Christian wasn't one of those students that you paid too much attention to...unless you were like Will. He was a very quiet student, even though he looked like the type who would want to be a social butterfly. His eyes were a striking auburn-honey color, a rich mix of gold and chocolate that watched Will tiredly during the lessons. He must have some kind of night job to pay for college, Will concluded weeks ago. He always wore thick eyeliner, sparkling jewelry in his ears and on his arms, and his fair colored hair always wisped about his face while he looked down to take sparse notes. Honestly, Will had his eye on this one for quite some time now. Out of all the students in his class, Christian had always held his attention the most; he was a young man of intrigue. His file stated that he was 19 (thank god) but other than that he had some interesting notes. He made terrible grades in his other classes as well, but somehow was scraping by with a passing grade. He only took one or two classes a semester, at this rate it'd take years just to get his simple Associates. He kept his mouth shut and his head down low, even though he was quite clearly beautiful...Christian was a creature of intrigue, and that's what got Will the most.

"Well, that's a problem." Will stated simply, gauging the seemingly timid creature's reaction to his intended flirtation. "Let's see that paper, shall we? What did you have a problem with?"
Christian pushed forward a blank quiz, with a simple note at the top: "See you at 8 for extra credit?"
"Oh." Will spoke under his breath, caught somewhat off-guard. Usually, HE would be the one to initiate the offer.

Christian, picking up on Will's reading of the note, leaned over his desk. His bangs swept softly over his face, his eyes begging. "Well? I really need an A on his, Mr. Hall."

The words sent a pleasant shiver down his spine...no one called him Mr. Hall. At least not like that, anyway.

"You know those apartments behind Nimble street?" Will commented, taking his quiz and putting it in his folder.
"I'm very familiar with them." Christian bit his lower lip, sparkling white teeth showing through. This boy spent a lot of time on his appearance. "Well, mine is 1301." Will looked up at Christian, a small grin spreading. "And I'm free at 8 for some tutoring tonight."

A strange flashed across Christian's face, as he simply nodded and stood up. The look faded however, as he sauntered away. Will's eyes traveled down the young man's thin back to his supple rump as he swayed toward the door. When he glanced back up, he was shocked to see Christian's top half turned around, smiling at him.

He was giving him a peek. And he'd been caught peeking, too.

"I'll see you then, Mr. Hall."

8 PM that evening couldn't come fast enough. Will had battled nausea, guilt and excitement in alternating doses all day long through work, then rushed home to get the place cleaned up. Pill bottles scattered the dining room table, old socks were piled in the corner of the bedroom, and a calendar filled with volunteer opportunities and doctors visits displayed itself proudly on the couch. Just after picking everything up, a knock sounded on the door...8 PM exactly. That kid was punctual.

Will flipped on his candle warmer before opening the door, obviously a little fatigued and shaking. Trying to mask his excitement and sickness, he smoothly motioned towards the living room.

"I'm surprised you showed."
"I always do." Christian commented slyly, a very sweet grin on his face.

The comment was strange, and Will's analytical sense kicked in...what does he mean by "always"? Shrugging off the comment, hoping not to ruin his evening, he sat down on the couch next to his student. Besides the actual company, one of the things that Will loved the most was this question:

"So, what are we doing tonight?"
Most students would sweat and flounder around, not really knowing what to say. He would then diffuse the situation with some humor and reassurance that there'd be nothing too dirty going on, and the evening would begin.

"Depends on what you want, Mr. Hall." Christian said without missing a beat, reaching into the bag at his side and pulling out a handful of items necessary for far too much of a good time. Plastic crinkled in his delicate hands as Christian sorted through them, the colorful square packages sending an icy chill through Will. "What size are you?" Christian prattled on nonchalantly, picking up a red square and holding it up with a grin.

Will stood up abruptly, his hands up in front of his chest. "Woah....woah hold on there!"
Christian tilted his head to the side. "Are you allergic to latex?"
"Wh....wh....NO!"
"If you are I've got some more out in my car, shouldn't be a problem."
"M...more? No!" Will finally laughed, trying to keep his ever-cool manner. "No no, this isn't that kind of extra credit."

Christian stared blankly at his tutor, waiting for an explanation. He looked genuinely surprised.

This...this wasn't right. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. Sure, usually, the evening would end with some PG-13 upper-body nudity and a nice cuddle or two. Will...well, Will was just a lonely man. He loved and craved the company of young men. Literally. Their company.

Completely thrown off cue now, his game wrecked and his mind a mess, Will did the only thing he knew to do; and slammed a book awkwardly on the table in front of them.

"HERE."
Christian chuckled, putting the products back in his bag. Front pocket, left side. "This isn't even from my class, Mr. Hall." He said calmly.

The textbook for his fourth block class, "Understanding Trigonometry" was displayed before him. Laughing awkwardly, a bit too high pitched, Will dug around his backpack for the correct book. Christian watched him with those chocolate-dripping-honey eyes.

"And here I thought you did this with all the students..." Christian mused, clearly finding humor in Will's flustered state.
"What? What gave you that idea?" Okay, okay, this wasn't lost yet. He lost his cool a little bit but he was starting to gain control again.
"Oh well, you know...rumors."
"Rumors are better left to the younger children." Will smiled, feeling more comfortable, setting down the correct book. "Now, let's see where I can help you."

The evening went much better after the awkward initial meeting. Will had even grasped Christian's hand from time to time, enjoying the soft small thing under his fingers. It had been about an hour now, and he was finally starting to understand the assignment from next week.

"I have other places I need to be, Mr. Hall." Christian stated smoothly, standing up after his lesson and stretching. His hair trailed down his back softly, this being one of the beautiful and rare times that he took his thick jacket off in front of him. "However...I really need more than that to boost my grade...I really just need an A in this class."
Will looked puzzled. "Oh?"
"So, tomorrow at 8. And whatever we do...I need that A, Mr. Hall."
"It's uh..." Suddenly, Will felt heavy under his gaze. Was he judging him? "It's Will, you can just call me Will."
The two stood up and made their way to the front door, when Will finally took a moment to look down at his student. Something was wrong....something felt wrong. Maybe this would fix it...

Carefully, Will pulled Christian into a soft embrace. It's a simple gesture, really, nothing sexual or violent about the act at all. Just a warm, wonderful feeling that two people could share for a moment...however, Christian's reaction was shocking. Under his arms, the younger man's spine stiffened like someone had shot him right in the shoulder. Will pulled away quickly, looking down at him.

His face was drained of color, he was clearly shocked by the gesture. They made eye contact for a moment, a puzzling emotion dwelling behind Christian's eyes. There was something wrong now, definitely, it was written right there... they looked so sad, so distant...like something might make him cry. No tears came, but instead a shocked, stiff-legged turn towards the door.

"I...." was he about to say something about that hug? What did he do wrong? Seeming to change his mind, Christian switched gears. Playfully, but with a clearly fake grin, he looked up at Will provocatively. "Don't you think it sounds...kinkier to call you Mr. Hall?"

Before Will could answer, a call came through Christian's cell phone. He looked down at the number and quickly excused himself out the door, hurrying down the stairs as he spoke in a hushed tone to his caller. That fake smile was back, and it hit Will like a ton of bricks...that smile was a smile he's seen before on Christian's pretty face. A smile that gets scrawled on when specific people would talk to him on campus...teachers, a few other staff.

The professor locked his door, alone again. His hands wrapped around a steaming mug of tea, he leaned against his bookcase, watching the young man race to his car and hop on in. He drove away without looking back.

Something was gnawing at Will's conscious. Was it guilt from inviting students over? Nah. He didn't do anything too harmful. This feeling was new...this feeling was....sorrow? He felt sorry for Christian. The despair and sadness he just saw written in his eyes was a deep-seated, damaging emotion. No one should feel that way, especially someone so young, someone with a future ahead of them.

Slowly, fluffy white flecks of snow started drifting down to the pavement below, lit briefly by the street lights as they fell. The steam from his cup and his breath on the window was beginning to fog his view...how long had he been standing there? Shaking his head at how ridiculous he was acting, Will finally snatched his hidden calendar from under his couch and had a seat, turning on the TV for some cheap company.

Scanning the thick, glossy paper, Will ran his thumb over his own writing in the blocks. Black and white squares displayed in a cheap bank calendar, photos of warm summery landscapes up above...days. Years. Time...something that he might not have that much of.

Written in bright red ink every third Monday of the month was a number...a number that was slowly falling despite desperate attempts at a healthy diet, exercise, and a cocktail of medications that was slowly making his body sicker and sicker. His T-cell count.

"HIV isn't a death sentence." Suddenly the nightmare from this morning flowed back into Will's mind, as it often did when alone. The old doctor's voice sounded as crisp now as it did three years ago when his real nightmare began. "It just means you're going to have to be more careful. Watch your T-cell count. Regular doctor visits. Medication and a healthy lifestyle. Some people live 20 years or more before the virus transitions into AIDS."

"Twenty years my ass." Will instinctively went to the cabinet where his trusty supply of saltines was running low. This new medication he began on Tuesday, after the most recent let-down of a blood test, was making him sicker every day. He hadn't been able to keep anything down other than coffee and tea, and now his body was begging for food.

Sitting on the couch with his crackers and tea, Will did what he does almost every night after being left alone: shifting around volunteer obligations and other after-class activities that prevented him from being like he is now, alone with his thoughts. Alone with his poison blood. Alone with his torment...why does he invite young objects of his affection over to his home, even though he knows he can't even risk a gentle kiss with them? The smallest contact terrified Will, actually...a cut in their mouth coupled with Will's cracked and bleeding lips, a small accidental exchange of blood from a sore spot on Will's chest to a freshly made tattoo. Any of these things could sentence one of these young, beautiful creatures with the subject of his own misery.

Maybe it was because of the manner in which Will himself had become infected. A long-term relationship gone awry. Being abandoned shortly after the diagnoses, being alone to cope with his newly discovered illness. The rejection from his family; maybe the sudden realization that his life, the life that was going so perfectly with a man he thought he would marry...would all abruptly change.

Will just wanted to feel, for one evening, that he was normal. That he was loved and understood by someone, anyone. But he wasn't.

Finally ready for bed, Will pushed the thoughts away with images of that afternoon, the smiling, mysterious, doll-like Christian. The Christian who really wanted an A in his course.

The Christian that would be spending many, many afternoons in his apartment, Will vowed.