I don’t really know how I came to be. One day I just opened my eyes to the black nothingness of space aware of my existence. Though my eyes were open, there was no light for them to see. I was only vaguely aware that I had a body by the fact that I could move it. I didn’t feel much else. Not the frigidness of space. Not hunger. Not the need for breath. I hesitate now to even call what I was back then “alive.” I had no sense of time, but as it passed I eventually started to feel what I now know to be loneliness. I didn’t have the knowledge yet to be able to process the feeling, it was more an instinct. I just somehow knew that that vast vacuum of nothingness wasn’t all there was to existing.
So I began to make more intentional movements. I picked a direction and was somehow able to move in the vacuum of space. I couldn’t actually tell I was moving, of course, I just thought that I was and that was enough. After what seemed like eons I realized I could see the faintest of light. I was so confused at first for I had never been able to see before. It was such a faint light that I could only really see it from my peripheral vision. I continued to try to focus on it as I moved. It felt like ages before I could really look see it well. It was a beautiful ball of light! I remember reaching out to try to grab onto it, but being unable to. When I realized it was too far out of my reach, I flung myself towards it in desperation. I didn’t know what it was but it was something and all I had known was nothing. I felt the feelings of hope and excitement for the first time. Faster and faster I moved and it grew into a dazzling spiral of lights.
....TO BE CONTINUED