Information
Ithsmene has a minion!
Memory the Equilovy
Memory the Equilovy
Ithsmene
Legacy Name: Ithsmene
The
Hydrus MalticornOwner:
ApplauseJunkieAge: 14 years, 2 months, 3 weeks
Born: February 9th, 2010
Adopted: 14 years, 2 months, 3 weeks ago
Adopted: February 9th, 2010
Statistics
- Level: 1
- Strength: 10
- Defense: 10
- Speed: 10
- Health: 10
- HP: 10/10
- Intelligence: 0
- Books Read: 0
- Food Eaten: 0
- Job: Unemployed
| Aliases: GRNU-18, Ithsmene Kindred Age: Approx. 18 Gender: Female Height: 5 ft, 6 in Weight: Approx. 110 lbs Hometown: Unknown | Day 1 I hate this place. Some of the other newbies fresh out of training like me have already lost themselves completely. Even I have forgotten my real name. Even I couldn't escape their brainwash; I have no identity now except for GRNU-18. But despite losing my name, I will not kill. I will never harm another being. I don't remember why. I had a reason once, so I won't. I can't. They can kill me if they want to, but I won't murder with them. I won't join their ranks. Day 3 The sargent seems rather upset with me. He hasn't killed me yet, so I wonder what he has planned for me. I feel a sort of grim pride in attracting so much attention with my defiance. You'd think he'd know how to handle this. Has no one refused to conform before? Day 5 Today the sargent took me to see the general. Apparently Sarge was just fed up with me, so I was taken to meet the man in charge. The general didn't seem to really know what to make of me. He asked to see me kill a frightened little boy that he held in front of me by his neck. I went through my usual routine, throwing down every weapon they gave me. I spat on the machine guns, their mass-killers. It was strange, though, how little I reacted to the little boy's death when the general had the sargent kill him for me; his blood did not horrify me, nor did his gurgling little whimper as he died. All I felt was anger and disgust for their bloodlust, their murder joy. The general didn't seem too happy with me. Day 7 Today the general apprenticed me to a woman called MKLA-22. She has instructions not to kill me, but I don't care if she does or not. But she won't. She's the most brainwashed of everyone I've met so far. No matter how angry I make her, I have full confidence she will not disobey orders and kill me. She can't. Her mind is especially clean. Not only does she do nothing but murder, she enjoys it. She even prefers the messier weapons because she likes to kill with her hands. It's disgusting how far she's fallen. Day 9 MKLA-22 tried me on a few different weapons today. I threw them all to the ground as soon as they touched my hands; they were all meant to kill, and I will not have anything to do with them. She also tried to get me to practice on a dead animal. But I still won't. I won't desensitize to the feeling of a weapon in my hands. Poor MLKA-22. She's so far gone down their drain of mindlessness. I pity her greatly; I don't think she remembers a single thing beyond killing. She does nothing but follow orders. Maybe tomorrow I'll try to talk to her about something, see how much she remembers, if anything. See if she has an identity. Day 10 They didn't take me to see MKLA-22 today. I was brought back up to see the general to take a look at my progress. I was presented with another very frightened human being, and I gave him the same performance I have given MKLA-22 every day since I was assigned to her. None of their weapons stayed long than a moment in my hands before I threw them away. The general seemed displeased, and I was sent away. Day 11 I tried talking to MKLA today. I'm going to stop adding the 22 at the end of her name. It dehumanizes her. I'm thoroughly convinced that she is indeed human, and she's merely been brainwashed completely and utterly by the general and his associates. She thinks herself the most loyal, but really she is just the most controlled. I think maybe it has something to do with the flask she's taken to drinking from. I'll ask about it tomorrow. Day 12 I was surprised today that MKLA asked about my memories. Could it be that she's actually trying to grasp some shred of humanity in this dark place? Or is she trying to find some reason why I'm not killing as brutally as she is to use it against me? I'm hoping for the former. I told her everything I remember, which isn't much. I have no record of my past, so it's hard to tell what's actually real and what I've imagined lying in my bunk at night. It all runs together. But the way I think I remember it is a place full of people, happy people, all loving each other and smiling and laughing. The sun was always shining, and there was always someone there to help me if I needed it. Everyone took care of everyone. I remember playing with smaller children when their mothers were away, and someone looking after me when my parents went out. But maybe some of that is my imagination. But I know it was wonderful. And I'm not about to let them know I doubt myself. It all happened the way I say it did because that's all they have to trust. Day 13 Today was strange, to say the least. I was presented with a vial of the disgusting stuff she drinks every day. I treated it like a weapon. I've seen how much more ruthless MKLA gets after a swig of that flask. I'll have none of it. Then she began to ask me questions about before I was acquired. She asked how old I was. I was six years old, and she said maybe that's why I'm so "weak" is because I was too old to forget everything. But I'm grateful it took them that long to find me. It gave me the ability to cling to my soul despite their attempts to knock me free of it. They're going to breed MKLA. To be honest, I'm rather excited. I love children. They won't "breed" me, of course, because I'm not what they want. The fact that they've depersonalized such a sacred bond just adds to my contempt of that general and his mindless ranks. Maybe the next time I go in to see the general I'll give him a piece of my mind. It's about time he needed to hear it. I tried to talk to MKLA about the different kinds of love there were. Her love was a cold, mechanical love. Loving the general is not like loving a father or a husband. That is a warm love, a sweet love, the kind of love that makes your stomach twist every time you see them, the love that makes you want to not only die for them, but kill for them. If I had someone to love, to love that way, I might take up a weapon to save them. I don't know if MKLA understands. Day 14 I'm not going to see MKLA for three weeks. When she told me that, I felt strangely disappointed. Despite how she treats me and how blind she is, she's my only link to humanity. They won't let me see anybody else. Besides, it is her very blindness that binds me to her. I have to save her now that I've seen how far she's fallen. I have to bring her back. The breeding process has been completely impersonalized. She recited to me how it is to be done, and it disgusted me. Childbearing has become not only a privilege, but merely a scientific process with clear steps and tests done every so often to make sure the steps were successful. It's awful. But I'm still very excited that MKLA will have a baby, even if it means I won't get to see her for three weeks. Day 17 It's been awfully boring without MKLA. My sargent has put me back in his ranks and has been attempting to train me again. They're giving me special privelidges now, though. Since I won't kill a living thing, they've brought out a fake human torso that's padded so I can hit or kick it without breaking it or me, and they're teaching me hand combat on that. It's interesting how the techniques work when they're explained.Day 19 Sarge has started training with me, now. He's letting me grapple with him and use the things I learned with the dummy. It's much more fun to train with a live person because he fights back, and now that Sarge isn't after me to kill something every second and I know I'm allowed to learn combat without hurting anyone. I'm actually having a lot of fun.Day 20 I accidentally broke Sarge's nose today. He came at me and I swung to block, and I connected with his face and it started bleeding and he backed away from me like a scared animal. It made me want to vomit. I don't think I'll train anymore.Day 22 It's really boring without training taking up my days. I don't like just sitting here, but now that I have realized that even bare-hand combat hurts people, I don't want to learn any more. That's becoming too much like them. Day 23 MKLA wants to see me tomorrow! I just got a message from her in breeding, and she wants to see me! Of course, I'm sure it's just because they won't let her see anyone and she's just as bored as I am, but still! The fact that she sent for me of all people, the one person that she has every right to hate. Maybe I'm making progress after all! I'm so excited I can hardly sit still. I can't wait for tomorrow. |  |
I suppose Mikila is my friend of sorts. I'm apprenticed to her, and I'm trying to find her soul at the moment. | Now the dark begins to rise Save your breath, it's far from over Leave the lost and dead behind Now's your chance to run for cover I don't wanna change the world I just wanna leave it colder Light the fuse and burn it up Take the path that leads to nowhere All is lost again But I'm not giving in I will not bow I will not break I will shut the world away I will not fall I will not fade I will take your breath away Fall Watch the end through dying eyes Now the dark is taking over Show me where forever dies Take the fall and run to Heaven All is lost again But I'm not giving in I will not bow I will not break I will shut the world away I will not fall I will not fade I will take your breath away And I'll survive, paranoid I have lost the will to change And I'm not proud, cold-blooded fate I will shut the world away I will not bow I will not break I will shut the world away I will not fall I will not fade I will take your breath away And I'll survive; paranoid I have lost the will to change And I'm not proud, cold-blooded fate I will shut the world away |
Pet Treasure
Broken Bottle
Remembrance Emblem
Scarred Leather Record Book
Pet Friends
Mikila
My superior. I'll win her soon.