personal;;

Name: Christopher Byrd
Called: Chris
Gender: Male
Age: 24 (3/22/1986)
Orientation: Bisexual
Occupation: Journalist/
photographer
Home: Chicago, Illinois
Status: Dating Aubre

physical;;

Height: 5'11
Build: Thin, lanky
Skin: Tan
Hair: Dark brown and curly
Eyes: Green

personality;;

As Dane Cook once knowingly stated, in every group there is one person that nobody likes. In this group, that person is Chris.

This is actually a lie, because his friends don’t hate him, they often simply find that he is very capable of becoming quite annoying in quite a little amount of time, and that he also makes for a fabulous scapegoat. Certainly Christopher has his redeeming qualities, as most mortal men do, but most tend to ignore these in favor of what they see as irritating tendencies.

What is irritating about Christopher boils down to a few unfortunate tendencies and preferences that when coupled together, only mesh well with a select group of people and not the general populous. The first of which being that he has a tendency for being dramatic, and likes to complain about things that many may see as not very harsh indeed (example: “I can’t believe I got assigned an article on the new strip joint on blahdiblahblah street. I can just feel my skills deteriorating!” “Dude, stop complaining, you’re getting paid to go see strippers. I WANT YOUR LIFE.”). The second of which is that he can be a tad dramatic about these things (“You don’t understand! I went to a university! I studied abroad! I HAVE TALENT. I SHOULD BE WORKING FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES NOT THIS CRAPPY SMUT MAG!”). The third of which is that just because he went and studied abroad in England and later in Germany, he thinks America is uncultured and quite frankly hates America and all its ways and all its people ( “In EUROPE they have QUALITY publications more geared towards people of MY TALENT and SOPHISTICATION, not this shit!” “So then, why’d you move back here…?”). And, even amongst political skeptics, this can get a tad annoying.

These traits might be more tolerable were it not for the fact that quite frankly, Chris thinks he’s better than everyone else. No, not everyone, just most people. So he may be more intelligent than the average guy selling newspapers on the corner or the girl working at the Starbucks down the street (and around the corner, as well as in the supermarket across the street, and two buildings down from that, mind you), but he’s no genius. He may have skills as both a writer and a photographer, enough to perhaps earn him some of the prestige he dreams of should he work hard for it, but he’s going to have to work at it. He may have been educated in some nice universities, as well as seen more of the world than a Midwestern small farmer, and read up on current events, culture, and shop at the farmers market, and buy his stuff from small family-run businesses rather than corporate conglomerates, but this does not give him the right to stick up his nose to people who don’t subscribe to his background and ideology. People tell him this, but he often doesn’t listen.

Were it not for these grating aspects of his personality, Chris could actually be a fairly decent guy to hang around with. He isn’t one to take offense to jokes and teasing, and can even accept serious criticism, although if it delves into the realm of dire insults, he is often less than pleased. He’s passionate in conversation and loves discussing ideas and art and music, and won’t be so snooty as to turn down your invitation to go see The Hangover. And despite his apparent focus on himself, he is rather perceptive, and knows when other people are having a bad day, knows when to shut up, and knows when to offer support. He’s fairly understanding and compassionate with individuals, even if he disapproves of the human race in general, and according to his boyfriend, is a “sweet guy”. It’s just when he gets off on one of his tirades that Chris gets annoying.

Oh, he's also a hipster.

thoughts;;

Look, I know not many people may agree with my points of view on society and life as we know it. I just don’t feel like I should comply with a system that is clearly not working. I mean, we’re consuming resources at a rate we can’t sustain, while people in other countries are starving to death, and no one gives a damn. Why should I have to associate with these people? If they want to live in their little materialistic bubble, well, I hope they wake up one day in Somalia or something. And I’m not being intolerant. I believe in tolerance. It’s not too hard to tolerate people, that’s just putting up with their ideas. Oh, don’t call me a hypocrite. Shut up. I tolerate misinformed people; I just wish they’d learn. God, why do you keep calling me gay? I’m not gay. Can you just let me finish?

Any ways I believe in supporting small businesses and local farmers and only using what we need. I buy all my clothes secondhand so nothing goes to waste. No, I am not poor! Yes, ok, so I share an apartment with several other people but…shut up. Even when I have more money I’ll buy used clothes. No that is not materialistic! Can you shut up for one minute? Man, I hate malls too. And hateful religion – whatever happened to “love your neighbor”? Grapes of Wrath should be required reading for everyone, and The Great Gatsby. You know, good literature, not this Twilight crap. Good music too, unsigned artists not mass-produced pop/rap/whatever where the artists have sold their souls to fame. I’m totally serious about that. Man, I shoulda stayed in Europe.

Pet Treasure

Pet Friends