Information


Racheal has a minion!

John the Prince




Racheal
Legacy Name: Writings


The Angelic Feli
Owner: Riu

Age: 11 years, 9 months, 5 days

Born: June 23rd, 2012

Adopted: 11 years, 9 months, 5 days ago

Adopted: June 23rd, 2012

Statistics


  • Level: 32
     
  • Strength: 51
     
  • Defense: 10
     
  • Speed: 10
     
  • Health: 15
     
  • HP: 15/15
     
  • Intelligence: 190
     
  • Books Read: 180
  • Food Eaten: 1
  • Job: Lead Librarian


My beginning

My name wasn't of importance. Actually in all honesty it probably never was.I was a former servant girl who was adopted by a wealthy family with the surname Gates. No one honestly knew my past and the Gates didn't quite like anyone snooping around anyway. But to whom it may concern I was the one whom they called Rachael Anne Smith.

My past filled with many tears and sighs one I did keep to myself. However after having been found by Mrs. Gates of course I told her- everything. You see I was mistreated by my family and ones I would call friends and I was used as a mere servant for them-wealthy of course but for them I was a abomination. I was never accepted neither in my family or out of it. So one day I just- ran, ran away from it all in tears and in pain when my mother wanted to sell me-"how could I ever let myself be sold by my own parents." I said to myself. I cried myself to sleep almost every night, and only with a mere broken teddy bear to give me comfort. I longed very much for a life like this, and finally here I am. I was taken in taught the righteous ways and improved myself very well.. Or so I thought and that leads me to my story- as of now.

continue... hide



My story is of infatuation. Or so I thought..
I was infatuated with a boy not much older, not much younger then I.
I never had the courage to speak to him or rather get close to him I hinted a fear inside me when he and I approached each other.
His mother and myself had some kind of relationship not as much to be known as friends though perhaps we already were without any of my knowledge. But in all honestly I have always felt intimidated by her and her family. I felt that way about a load of them.

We were never equal no matter how friendly we were to each other. There was always some kind of hindrance between us. The young man had the look of anger but perhaps it was one of past scars.
He was in my life without being in my life. I would always glance at him. I found myself looking at him more than wanted more than needed and I urged to stop myself. His eyes were very bright but small and it made me wonder what kind of life he had lived and what he would ever see in a girl like me if by any means came an opportunity.
I longed and I dreamt of a life by his side but t'was just an infatuation between him and myself. My existence for him was futile, non existent.
Perhaps his mother did speak to him about me, and perhaps he wondered.. However a girl like me could take a hint. I was never that girl anyone was looking for.. Actually it was very hard for any girl to catch his glance. Even so, his mother already had an eye on Mr. Gates daughter Christina in line as a candidate among other lovely and beautiful girls.

On occasion I found myself laying on the sofa reading novels by Ms. Gates youngest daughter Emma. The Story t'was about two spectacular girls who had the best lives in all of England with their fancy dresses and jewelry to their handsome husbands to their kids and their wonderful families full of friendship, adventure and passion.
I yearned to be like those amazing girls but I could never be like someone from a book. I was tempered and at times unladylike not to mention I was much more plump then the other gals as well. I tried desperately to change but it was so hard, harder than anyone could imagine! How on earth was I to be this beautiful, elegant and charming woman!
How could I ever persuade someone like him to view me as anything more than what I am? Sure there are many good qualities I had and acquired over the year, but how would that be enough for him to love me?

Nonetheless back to reality, Mrs. Gates daughter wrote fairly well. Well over her good will if I may say so myself.

I often wondered if I would ever by submissive to any man- However when I favored a man I found myself a different girl. Humbled, sincere, long suffering.

But no one could ever want to be with a gal like me. I was forever to be unmarried and at times I enjoyed my freedom to an extent but I longed to be with someone not just anyone however. I longed to be with him.

Oh how I longed to remove these emotions from my heart. His name I was so afraid to speak so afraid to become attached to the unattainable. But I said it every night and every day in a low tone- “John”. Of course scared that the Mrs would hear me for if I was ever caught dreaming about a boy that her daughter were possibly betrothing.

I would shiver almost to the point of an attack just knowing I had committed a sin thinking of someone I was not married to, not even promised, not even considered! It was wrong by all levels...
but I couldn't help myself...
However I knew deep within my heart I would never meet up to his expectations. I was always going to be that plain ol' plump middle-high class girl. It was irritable how in every book and in every story the main character to be loved was named John!
At times it would thicken my cheeks up with anger just at the thought of hearing the name over and over again. I had never been friends with a John for I always had quarrels with them. You see it also takes me back to a story about my past …

I was betrothed to a Mr. John Richards but several years ago him and my eldest sibling Darlene ran off together. I wished them happiness when they left and along came two nephews and a niece, Robert, Tim and Samantha. No matter how it raged me at first I forgave them and have long since loved my niece and nephews very much. It just was never good for a “John” and ”I'” to ever be together. After all it was all a set up my mother had planned, I was never to marry John, just love him enough to have my heart ripped out. All in all my sister and I had a great relationship after that.

However, for this John I fared that it would be different. Much different.
The only part in reality is that wishes never came true and were mere tails for small children living in their made up fantasies. I was already a young lady who should be worrying about her education and nothing more about her future that was yet to be reveled. However I couldn't help to dream and yearn to have him as a husband... My husband.

Oh I could imagine it now...But the guest have all arrived. By that time my heart had already dropped and the night sky was already black.

John entered and would say “Good day” to all the other girls of course all but me and sure enough Christina blushed and fawned over his charm while I watched in a corner giving hospitality to the smaller children like a small hawk just watching it's prey from a distance.
Of course he never looked my way but if he did, it was that of me being hospitable.
Once I got so infuriated because he had never the nerve say a greeting nor a simple hello. I felt invisible, standing there looking at him like a fool while he payed no glance no sight to me at all!
I exploded to my closest friend Sherrie out of anger.. But after a few minutes I felt ashamed and embarrassed. He would see me as impolite.. perhaps to the extent of being unlikable. I couldn't bear the thought of it any longer so I grinned and bared my teeth and forget it ever happened, but it had and all I could do was be ashamed to rethink it every moment..

I tried very hard to be a lady in the presence of the others to give a fine gesture of who I had become. But when John asked for anything I was always so snippy and smart and reply “However in the world did you somehow lose your ability to hold things?” I always felt the urge to pour out my feelings to him.. to anyone really...

But I knew deep down I could never do such a thing. I would be run out of the house and hear many awful things!

“Such a disgrace!” “How could you!” “After all we've done for you!” “Think of Christina!”

All the things I heard in my mind and knew I would hear them. But t'was only a matter of time that he would indeed find out for Mrs. Gates older daughter Georgina already suspected how I felt and of course teased me about it at almost every occasion he was invited too.
I'm well assured that John had some sort of idea, however every girl in Lichfield was madly in love with him.
Perhaps it was his blonde hair or his blue-green eyes or how tall he was or perhaps his charm to never sway a girl out of some sort of respect towards woman that hardly any man was true and right about anymore these days. But I loved him in every way possible and one day I would hope that he knew that, when he is far away married to Christina or perhaps..even before...

Whatever the case I had no courage not in myself and neither in him. I knew the instant I would reveal anything, everything in my life would tumble and I'd have none to go to. I'd be alone and selfish and that is not very appealing, not very appealing at all and I would shake my head to even the thought.

There were countless times when we caught eye of each other and I acquired feelings of being seen through, like he knew, but ignored it entirely but perhaps it was of annoyance and he wished for it to be gone. Wished for me to be gone. However whenever I saw him my heart would thump loudly then ever before... and I just froze inside. Just seeing him made me feel happiness.But for that of his feelings, those feelings were neither alive nor would they were going to be.
Perhaps it was just myself and I and he was wondering off into the sky as one might say and never thought of me at all. Perhaps that was reality and I was lost in hope thinking for once.. or twice that he would think of me.

We lived in distant worlds however in the same life. I often wondered how it would be to have one long embrace from John but wondering gets you to thinking “..and thinking my dears will at times get you in very much deep trouble.” Mrs. Gates said to us once but as fresh as the day I was told- I remembered.

My prayers often consisted of my asking of forgiveness and oh my how I wished God would take away these feelings of John, but I knew that would never work if I never included my part to forget him, I knew that I would one day be emotionally hurt by all of this and I knew that he would jilt me and refuse me. I knew that he might say harsh words like how I dressed or how I proceeded but most of all how I wasn't able to meet up to his likeliness.

Oh how it saddened me..and the tears came pouring out.
“Rachael... are you ok?” said little Samantha. And I quickly dried my eyes and said “not a worry dear- I was just making onion soup and well, you know how your momma makes onion soup she begins to cry right?”

“Oh yes I do know- she isn't sad but her tears come out!” “B-b-but Rachael theirs no onions around...” Samantha replied.

“Oh dear sweetheart, sometimes onions don't have to be around for you to smell them!” and we both began to laugh.

Months had gone by and John and his acquaintances came almost every other night, I was forced to see his laughter and charm almost every day now and my heart began to yearn. I would seldomly escape to my room where I would at times cry till my very eyes were dry. I began writing stories and poetry of that love, being in love with a man I would never get to hold, never get to kiss never show my love. I wanted no more than to love and to be loved like any other, like a house maid, or nurse or any of Mrs. Gates daughters.

I drew pictures of him in secret and wrote music I would sing in public, music he would never know would be sung for him and only him, but in secret would I keep my feelings.

He glanced at me many times, when I sung, when I danced, when I taught Samantha and all the other little girls and boys, but I never knew of such things. I could never give attention when others were so closely around.

But not to my knowledge it showed, my love for John showed as brightly as it could, but not one would ever speak of it, for no one knew what my future would hold or what John himself ever felt or not have felt towards me. However Emma would take my letters and songs or poetry and show them to him in secret, and to Emma's surprise he was very interested. No other woman was this interested in him sincerely and wholeheartedly, as everyone knew he was full of riches that's all they would seek. But I was different from all the other girls, I wrote of an undying love, lust and infatuation, of a life filled with happiness without any room for words of his riches. I looked beneath my heart and wrote with admiration and it made his cold heart melt towards me.

-In the stormy dead of night I awoke in cold sweats, my heart was beating as it never did before, I was afraid of many things my mind dreamt that entire night, I fastened my heart to slow down with calm breathes. I cried from thoughts that were only mine, memories of the past that haunted me almost every night.

I wanted to be held in the most warmest embrace, but not anyone would be by my side. I trembled till dawn broke and lay in my bed with tears that would stream down my face as if they would never end.

My lady came in to check up on me and by my side also began to weep while holding me closely and rocking me still she gentle whispered kindly, words that would never be forgotten. I held a special place in her heart as if I were her own child.

It was time to eat with the guest as we would see them off later in the day, I sat across John trying my hardest to give neither to give attention nor a glance. I tried my hardest to ignore every echo of his voice, but they were sweet to me in every way, my emotions seemed to fight against each other to love him or to hate him but my heart would never let me despise such a gentle creation.

"Racheal" he said but I did not hear as he never would have spoken to me before but "Rachael" he continued to call until I gave an answer.

"Yes Mister Mathison" I replied shyly knowing that I was at that moment the center of attention.

"Did you very well make these scones my dear?" He questioned.

His voice so warm and delicate, with a smile on his face as his eyes were looking upon me, my heart ached and beat faster than the nights I awoke in fear. I wanted to leap across the table and confess my undying love but I held back sweating more than a hog would on a hot summer day.

"As special as this day was I wanted to make something special so that each and every one of you could enjoy it, it is our pleasure to be in such high well company" I replied

"A simple yes would have sufficed Miss Smith"

I trembled on the inside as everyone at the table snickered and giggled, Mrs. Gates took a long saddened look at me and towards John as I excused myself for the rest of the day until dinner time. She knew something troubled me but little did I know that she already knew what of.

I left that very day to walk along the flowered tree path, it was gorgeous to be able to walk freely and view such beautiful creations. I often dreamt to be with John walking along these very paths, united and in love. I dreamt of a lot of things of which would never come true.

To my very surprise there he was sitting by the pond writing delicately in a book. I wondered what things he could be writing or simply making up, was it poetry, or some form of art. I wondered. He took a second glance to see me walking alone and decided to accompany me.

"Miss Smith it is very dangerous to be walking alone where as one such as yourself would end up getting lost or simply forgotten for more than acquired time"

He spoke to me with sincerity but I awaited a very snikerish remark, but none came my way. I had no reply for him I just simply kept walking.

"Misses Smith, do you not like me? Am I a bother to your presence? If you say so I may leave your side at once?" he asked me

I stopped in front of falling petals as I reached my hand out to grab some while looking back at John I realized I had been wanting this the whole time, wanted him alone, wanted him to be mine for a moment I could tell him every word my heart was aching.
But as soon as I opened my mouth Mrs. Gates approached us both and showed us the way back home. I was nervous as to what she would say later on, or how she would react but to my very surprise she lovingly wrapped her arm around my shoulder and smiled. I with rosy cheeks smiled back.

At the dinner Mrs. Gates wanted to make some sort of announcement. I wasn't sure what kind of announcement but what I feared most was that of a proposal.

She raised her glass and tapped it gently with her teaspoon and my heart began to break. I knew this was the day my heart would completely be shattered, or at least for the moment I thought it would.

Mrs. Gates announced that Mister Matheson has brought to my attention that he is interested in someone in this household.

I quickly got up from my seat at that very moment, I could not sit there hearing anything spoken anymore, I wanted to crawl out of my very skin and bones and into thin air, I no longer wanted to listen. But at that moment Mrs. Gates looked at me "Have a seat my dear this is very important news even for you my sweet child". But I could no longer bare the thought of hearing Emma, or Christina. I was purely jealous and heart broken at the same time I couldn't think anymore. My hands were shaking as he arose up from his seat and grabbed my hand before I left. I turned away and tears began to fall. Everyone seemed clueless as to my reaction, everyone all except for all of the Gates.

But he stood in front of me as I looked to the floor, he lifted my head with his fingers on my chin, and he said "It is you my love who I am of interest" and tears shed across my cheekbones as I cried everyone rejoiced. He knew of my existence.. My own deep love inside me for him, he knew all the letters I had written in my heart but never spoken, or the thoughts that lingered in my very mind of words that I could not speak or dared to and as I looked up at his ever handsome face, he gently kissed my forehead and took my hand "Off to dance" he quickly said, and my tears streaming down my cheeks but a laughter upon my face I began to laugh.

I felt as though reality was a dream and I would awake at any moment but I never awoke. It was if the night would never simply end. We danced until dusk and drank wine for this was in fact a celebration a celebration for him and I.

John took my hand and we walked off near the pond where the moon was shining so bright it's reflection looked so grand. He held my hand as gentle as he could his touch I awaited for many years. He removed his jacket and placed it on the ground as we sat next to each other looking up at the stars. I wondered at this very moment what was going on in his mind, but he spoke with such a tender voice. "I never knew that one such as yourself could love with so much willpower" "You know I read all those poems and all those songs you sang at our gatherings, along with your sketch book with pictures I could never imagine and I know you may be thinking who on earth would show me these things but one must simply already know, but for quite sometime my love, I wondered what kind of lady you were and your true intentions, but you neither welcomed me or swooned me you just sat from a distance hiding your emotions within, and how courageous you really are to have loved me for so long from afar, how admirable you really are, Rachael darling, to hold all your strength back to never approaching me. My dear you truly deserve happiness and I hope that I can give you everything you've ever thought I would and more because you deserve all the happiness you have shown even to me from a distance"

and while I listened to his every word and turned to face him, he leaned over and gently kissed me and I couldn't help but wonder, what on earth could have brought me so much happiness when my world was at its wits end. But instead of rationalizing I gently caressed his face and gently kissed in return hoping that this night would never end.

-In the morning I discovered to be laying in bed with the window open letting the sunlight in I turned to my right to see John before my eyes sleeping soundly in a chair along with peach silk flowers with tea and milk. It seemed to not have been a dream after all and my heart yearned for I would not know of what we would become, lovers or married or perhaps this was mere fun? But all he spoke to me with words I'll never forget I kept treasured in my heart for there was no one in this world I rather much be with but him. Was he always to be mine? Would I have dreamt two dreams at once? I leaned over to lay a kiss on his hand and slowly my words came out forth from my mouth.

"I wanted thee with soft spoken words
my lips quivered as I saw you court with others.
I imagined white soft colored roses falling between thy trees
where you often wondered far off into the distance were you were to forever be,
but thy heart wanted more, more from thee.
I wanted a love unlike any other, to be understood, cared and forever
honored by thee. However it seemed to never be but only in thy dreams
for thee were ever far beyond my reach.
For the distance we once shared has been cut by many silver things
and together perhaps we will be, yes together at last I will give thee my ever aching heart."

and as my eyes looked upon him his ever so warm face smiled back at me and he went on to say "I have loved thee from the moment my eyes saw your beauty, for you heart radiated far more than any possible lady and I vow to you that I would never hurt thee, but for thee to be mine forever if possible, my Rachael" and suddenly he took my hand and slipped a ring onto my finger, a ring the shape of a rose with gold and with glimmer. It shined beautifully and I could never refuse, for this was my dream, my want, and my life and I knew that I would be the happiest from this day forward.

Forever and ever.

Will you remain by thee for ever lasting time?
Watch over me, see me and forever be indebted by me?
To love and to care, to whisper and to share?
For the many ways of life we've met and to each one
and another the many beloved things are not shallow.
For we are forever here to remain
like the sky and the sea
Forever we remain, forever we shall linger.


Credits


Profile by: Paula
Story by: Riu
Overlay image: by SevBD
profile │ Paula :: overlay │ artist ::Sev :: story │ Riu :: bg pattern | toptal :: top bg | pxhere

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