The Common Experiment #1347
Age: 10 years, 5 months, 6 days
Born: October 26th, 2012
Adopted: 3 years, 5 months, 3 weeks ago
Adopted: October 5th, 2019
- Level: 6
- Strength: 11
- Defense: 10
- Speed: 10
- Health: 10
- HP: 10/10
- Intelligence: 5
- Books Read: 5
- Food Eaten: 0
- Job: Unemployed
profile template (c) helix
background (c) toptal.com
story/coding edits (c) Chelsea
the scientistA hand dragged through black hair, accompanied by the most guttural sound heard in centuries. It wasn’t quite a groan… but also not quite a sigh. To put words to it, think of the most exasperated noise one has mustered. Then amplify it.
This, currently, was Susan. Her hands had come to rest at her horns and she was gripped her head with all her might. The project she’d been working on for King Marcellus wasn’t… going according to plan. In fact, one could call it a downright failure.
In her defense, she knew nothing about science before she came to Hell. It was the one thing that stood between her and graduating college. Susan was smart – really smart. But definitely not “create a cure” smart. And there was no hope in Heaven of her getting that smart in… the next five minutes.
Angry, Susan swung her arm across the tabletop, sending beakers, and liquids, and vials to the ground. A string of expletives almost too harsh for even Hell practically forced themselves from her body and bounced off the ground with each mixture she threw at the floor, the walls, and the door.
“I. HATE. THIS. FUCKING. HELL HOLE.” She screeched, fists thrust themselves at an invisible entity in the sky.
“Personally, I like to think of it as a ‘Hell Home,’ but you do you.” King Marcellus was leaned against the door frame. His face was cold, but not harsh. He knew what his patrons put up with and while it was definitely his place to judge them, time had worn down his will to do so.
Susan stood in front of him, face contorted in pain and rage. Her chest heaved as though she had run miles in mere seconds. “I… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I asked the impossible of you.” King M shrugged and pushed himself off the doorframe and into the thoroughly trashed room. “You will absolutely have to clean this up, though… or convince someone else to. That’s your circus, not mine.”
Her anger spent, Susan slumped over the countertop and hung her head in her hands as she had earlier. “I’m so sorry,” she repeated. In the absence of her anger, she began to sob. It wasn’t a pretty sob either.
“Woooah. No. No crying in Hell. Counterintuitive, I know, but… no. Please… don’t… ugh.” He muttered the last half of the sentence as his hand reached out to pat her back. Of all the things in Hell that were his job, consoling the ridiculous outbursts of his demons was not one of them.
“Look,” King M pulled his clawed hand away, bent to his knees, and picked up a vial with blue liquid inside. “this… looks promising. I have a feeling about it. Take it down to Petra at the library. Maybe she knows a thing or two about a thing or two.”
Susan raised her arm, wiped the snot and tears from the lower half of her now-red face. She nodded at him and reached out, grasped the vial in her right hand, and stood up. Glass crunched under her shoes and she winced. “I’ll… clean that up. Later.”
The King’s face contorted. “Now is good. You could do it now.”
“I’ll clean that up right now,” Susan responded quietly.
“Awesome. See you next Monday.” He turned on his heel, itching to be out of the most depressing room in Hell. Halfway down the hall he wrinkled his face, sighed, and turned back. Popping his head in, he called out to Susan and she looked up from the floor where she was on her hands and knees, wiping the liquids into a puddle. “Uh… good… luck?”
She managed a partial smile and her shoulders dropped in relief, “Thank you, Sir.”
“Yup. ‘Kay bye!” King Marcellus patted the doorframe and practically launched himself from the room.
Laboratory Animal Cage
Contaminated Test Tube
Sweet Frost Science Daiquiri
Ultimate Pet Zapper Liability Waiver
Large First Aid Kit