story
Dear diary,
my last entry is months ago but today I finally feel that it's time to write something down again. It's exactly one year since Joseph left me and I still don't know why it happened. He promised me everything and more, told me that he would like to marry me and that he'd stay with me forever. Silly things to say, I know but...I believed him. Never had I thought that I could give up my dream of becoming a cellist only to trade it for the life of an ordinary music teacher in America but for him I did it without a second thought. Now I regret it of course but way back it made no difference what kind of job I had as long as he was at my side.
On our last morning everything was so normal. He kissed me, told me not to worry about him and that he soon would be home again. Everything was just as always and so we said goodbye and I went on with my life, not knowing that this was our last time together.
Until today everyone tries to make me believe that something terrible has happened to him, that he was abducted or whatever but no, I refuse to accept that. I used to think the same but his family with their weird behavior towards me made me change my mind. Now I'm sure that he's still alive, perfectly healthy even while enjoying his freedom somewhere with his new "true love". Words fail to describe how much I hate him for that. Why didn't he just tell me the truth? Did he expect me to cry and beg him to stay? He actually should've known me better.
As I told you before I left America and returned home only a few weeks after he went missing. Even though it felt more like running away than like a rational decision I think that this was the best thing to do; my family and friends helped me to stay sane and to focus on my future instead of clinging to the past and I cannot thank them enough for their love and support. To also tell you something new, diary: Yesterday I received a letter from London answering my application and inviting me to an audition next week. With a little luck my childhood dream might become true at last - if only I could share this joy with him...
credits/additional info
Art by sien
Profile by the user formerly known as rune@subeta
Quote by Edna St. Vincent Millay
Character & story by me