Lard has a minion!

New Friend? the Smiley Sausage

It was rather an odd day. The day I met Lard. I was walking, minding my own business when I happened upon a strange young man. He looked like a comical character out of some late night cartoon. Big bug eyes, wild hair...he looked as if he had had a very rough night, but yet he was as happy as can be! He had a tattered and grease stained box with balloons inside. At least I thought they were balloons because he was removing them one at a time and twisting them into fierce animals. He handed a mighty lion to a small girl, who stared at him bewildered for a moment and then skipped off with her beefy cat. He continued to hand out these meaty mini blimps and then saw me across the way. When he smiled--it was disconcerting but genuine. He beckoned me over and told me that he had a special one just for me. He grabbed his finest links and started to work his magic. A knot here and a turn there and BAM! It was...well I am not quite sure WHAT it was. But it was friendly looking enough that I grinned and accepted the proffered sausage balloon.


But I found out that this was no ordinary meat puppet. The lad had drawn a face on the where I imagine its face should have been. One day it started talking to me. You'd think this would concern me, but he seemed a friendly fellow. We would talk about the normal things: the state of things in the world, that sweet little crush I had on the girl that served the food at the local cafe, the cute baby animals that had recently been bought by our zoo. No topic was off limits. And Lard (which he said was his name), always listened and offered his opinion on whatever we were talking about. He became my best friend. I had always had trouble making friends, but he was so easy to confide in. I know, I know...he was just a balloon of meat, but I didn't care. He didn't judge me or say anything mean to me. So I was keeping him. Of course, as time passed, he started bothering other people. When we were out, people would stare at Lard and me. They didn't realize that he was sentient and thus I had to start leaving him home, which suited him just fine. He would sleep in the freezer (to keep fresh of course), and would spend time with me when I was home.


One day, I searched and searched and I could not find my lil meaty friend. I thought it was all a dream before my mother mentioned that she tossed some old meat in the trash before the sanitation trucks came. I guess I will never really know if Lard was real...or just a fantasmeat.

Lard Art by Savie
Pixel meat by Chris Stoll.
Background by patterncooler.
Coding, Concept and Story by me.