Sam Witwicky has a minion!

Mojo the Chiko

My Wishlist

(coming soon!)

New Divide


Absolutely every detail about Sam's life was inexplicably awesome. He had a smoking hot girlfriend, crazy parents (God, she's a psycho but oh boy, did he love his mom), killed a huge friggin' robot name Megatron (thus saving his alien friends and the planet Earth), gotten in to friggin' Princeton, brought another huge friggin' robot named Optimus Prime back to life, been brought back to life by ancient and powerful dead alien robots, and so so much more. Oh, and did he forget to mention his super cool alien robot gaurdian/talented alien scout/best friend for ever and infinity (B.F.F.E.I.) Bumblebee AND the fact that the scout's group of more gigantic alien robots led by the very same Optimus Prime considered him important. Yup, everything in the life of Samuel James Witwicky is perfect.

Except, the huge friggin' robot named Megatron hadn't stayed dead, and Sam destroyed the only hope his alien friends had for continuing their species in vain.

At Princeton, he'd had a mental meltdown, started seeing crazy alien symbols, been molested by an alien in the disguise of a hot girl, and caused the destruction of the entire library and probably half the campus. Oh, and, of course, he was pinned to slab of concrete by Megatron and a spidery little 'con named Scalpel had plunged an robo-worm into his brain.

The only reason he had to bring Optimus Prime back to life was because the brave Autobot leader had died protecting wimpy, pathetic little Sam. The very same pathetic Sam been dead for four minutes in the deserts of Egypt, dragging precious attention away from the battle at hand in attempt to revive him.

And his B.F.F.E.I. ? Captured, strapped down to table, and run after with blades and drills and who the Hell knows what else because the brave, wonderful Scout had protected - guess who - weak, pathetic, little Samuel James Witwicky.

Yeah, everything about Sam's life was just perfect.

Pet Treasure

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