Information

Humor has a minion!

Bad Jokes Amuse the Unnervingly Cheery Skull

Humor

The

Sweetheart Ontra
Owner:

Pureflower

Age: 1 year, 11 months, 1 day

Born: May 25th, 2022

Adopted: 1 year, 11 months, 1 day ago

Adopted: May 25th, 2022

Statistics

Level: 68
Strength: 168
Defense: 10
Speed: 10
Health: 10
HP: 10/10
Intelligence: 226
Books Read: 221
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Oasis Hunter

Life's not easy for a comedian.

Not cracking up at breakfast is impossible.

Omelet you in on a little secret. No yolks about it, I can make an egg-cellent egg white scramble if I'm not bacon anything on the side. People say I'm such a ham, always waffling when there's work to be done. My sunny disposition gets on their nerves. They're just being salty. I'll still raise a toast to my friends because without them, there are days I'd simply flip my pancake.

Lunch will leave you laughing.

This will sound cheesy but sandwiches are really gouda. Lunch is nacho typical meal, any way you slice it. It sure would be grate if I could just eat lunch three times a day. (Okay, that's total bologna. If I had to quit the other meals cold turkey, I'd brie devastated). Lettuce consider the benefits of a simple sandwich. It's nutritious, any way you stack it. You mayo may not need a lot of ingredients and you can get really creative when you're on a roll. You'd better hope your laundry soap can ketchup to demand if you mustard overfill your bread or your hopes of dressing to impress will be stained.

Grocery shopping is a gag.

My minion whines every time I try to buy grapes. He may be the apple of my eye but orange you curious to know where he came from? I was in a time squeeze coming home one night. I saw this guy, a real peach in a stovepipe hat. He was carrying a paper bag under his arm. I saw the mango one way and BJ rolling the other. I tried out a joke I'd been working on. By the way those eyes lit up, I knew this guy was no lemon. Seriously, the two of us are a perfect pear. He is juice too good at reading my moods. He won't leave melon on those rare day's I'm not feeling plum perfect.

Minions will give you the giggles.

I can't bear to spend an hour in Maybel's shop. I may bee a little waspish, but it just never seemed right, keeping them in kennels. Don't have a cow, my friend. I know Maybel is otterly devoted to the well-being of those under her care. It's a dog-eat-dog world, out on the streets of Subeta. I'd have to be a turtle fool not to recognize the value of a warm bed. Out on the mean streets it's the biggest, toughest minions that pig out on the best scraps and hog the really good sleeping spots. I just find it fishy, all those minions who go to new homes tame as lambs when they should be eager to horse around. (Allow me a moment to duck while all you friends of Maybel pelt me with kibble.)

Holidays will have you howling Ha-Ha-Ha

Yule not be surprised to learn that Luminaire is my favorite festive day. I noel the gifts I want to get my friends six months before that merry day, snow doubt about it. My gifts always sleigh the competition. It's holiday tradition in my family to sing a merry melody in honor of Melody. When I write a jingle, it's the belle of the ball.

No less a treat is Morostide. The trick to this holiday is a boo-tiful spread of goodies that make for eye candy. It's a grave mistake to use colors that are too dark. Your house certainly won't be the favorite haunt of your neighborhood's children. They'll give up the ghost and ghoul away, seeking a more frightfully fantastic bounty. Witch might be to your benefit, if stale parties are your style. I see that zombie look in your eyes. My minion and I hope you'll humerus, just a bit longer.

Bathrooms. That is all.

There's one room in the house that's a guaranteed royal flush for comedians. Sure, a lot of jokes dreamed up in there are crap. On the other hand, a whiz kid like me comes up with some of his best material when he rolls with what comes to mind. I don't know if I will sink in your esteem or if you will shower me with praise but this is where I'll cease to toilet my efforts to entertain you.

You've been a marvelous audience. Good night.

Story by Pureflower