Tivan has a minion!

Howard the Ducker


The Glacier Devonti
Owner: Balloon

Age: 3 years, 5 months, 1 week

Born: March 12th, 2016

Adopted: 3 years, 5 months, 1 week ago

Adopted: March 12th, 2016

Pet Spotlight Winner
March 3rd


  • Level: 44
  • Strength: 110
  • Defense: 110
  • Speed: 112
  • Health: 110
  • HP: 110/110
  • Intelligence: 158
  • Books Read: 150
  • Food Eaten: 2
  • Job: Ardent Art Archivist

profile and story by Balloon • background photo from Guardians of the Galaxy

Ardent Art Archivist at Delphi Museum of Modern Art

Hey. . . Whitey!

What, Howard.

Looks like you got some customers. You want I should show them around? Granted, the only tour worth taking of this place is over to the liquor cabinet--

Oh! My apologies, I didn't see you there. You'll have to excuse me, I am. . . between assistants right now. What about the, heh, "gentleman" with the beak, you ask? Oh no, you misunderstand. His name is Howard the Duck, and he is not my assistant. In fact--

Darn right, I ain't your assistant! Why, you couldn't pay me enough units to work with you if you sold off every last item in this dump.

In fact, he is a former exhibit who escaped during an unfortunate, ah, incident which caused the loss of much of my collection (and, inconveniently enough, my last assistant). Believe me, Howard is a temporary guest. One who will soon be leaving if he does not wish to become an exhibit once more. I already have one Bottled Duckie, but I am not averse to collecting a second.

Okay, okay, I'm goin', I'm goin'. Geez.

Now that we have some privacy-- and some peace and quiet-- let me apologize once more and begin again. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Taneleer Tivan, the Collector. Here in my gallery at Knowhere (didn't I come up with just the cleverest name?), we house all manner of fauna, uh. . . how did that introduction go? I haven't given it myself in so long that I've quite forgotten it. Anyhow, never mind. You can see for yourself how many specimens and other items I have collected here, despite my recent losses.

You see, I am one of the Elders of the Universe. A common creature like yourself couldn't be expected to understand, but suffice it to say that I am among the oldest beings in the universe due to being. . . blessed, one might say, with near immortality. What's that? Yes, it does get rather boring. Certain other immortal beings-- although I shan't name any names-- have alleviated their boredom in rather unsavory ways, but I have no desire to do something so foolish as try to take over the universe. Honestly, who would want such a responsibility? If I ruled the universe, I would have to hire lots of people to run all the mundane little bureaucratic bits, and even then, the whole affair would still be far more trouble that it's worth. No, I'm quite content with Knowhere and my simple little storage planet.

. . . What? The planet? Oh. Well, it's called Collecton-- I admit, not nearly so clever a name as Knowhere-- and it houses the bulk of my collection: all of my cryogenically frozen specimens, the servers running my digital library, that sort of thing. I suppose you could refer to it as an archive, while I keep only my best items here in my gallery. Or. . . kept, I suppose. Before the. . . incident.

Now, you've gotten me all off track. What was I saying? Oh yes, I was talking about the boredom of immortality. So, as I said, I have no interest in ruling in the universe, but I did need to do something with my time, and I decided that "something" should be beneficial. I have always been fascinated with the sheer variety found throughout our universe, the diversity not only of living organisms, but also of the cultures they create. Therefore, I vowed to collect and preserve samples, of everything.

. . . What do I mean by "everything"? Exactly what I said, my quaint new friend. Everything. That includes at least one example of every species of life in this universe, along with all of each culture's writings, their music, their folk and oral histories, their artifacts. . . like I said, everything. Oh, of course I'm hardly finished yet, and there are cultures dying out all the time, but that is the fun of it, is it not? The race against time, the search for remnants of those lives which ended long ago, the thrill of acquisition: this is what gives me purpose.

And my collection is certainly not, as some may claim, a testament to my vanity or (I can hardly even bring myself to say it!) my "greed." As if I collected all this for myself alone! No, the role of the Collector is to preserve all that he can of the universe against the inevitable doom that will eventually befall it. I do not kid myself that just because I do not wish to rule it, no one else does either. Many have tried before, many will try again. . . and it is certain that at some point, the destruction of life as we know it will be the result.

When that happens, when only I and a handful of beings like my fellow Elders are all that remains, we will have a record of what was lost. We will even, if we choose, be able to regenerate life from my vast collection of specimens, either through cloning of their genetic code or, er. . . the "old-fashioned" way. Ahem. Anyhow! So now you surely see that I am not arrogant in the least, merely concerned in preserving all that I can for our future.

Now, that's quite enough chit-chat. I know you must find me terribly interesting, but I do have other business to which I must attend. Therefore, I will leave you to peruse my collection at your leisure, though do remember that you're hardly seeing it at its most complete. I hope you'll return in the future once I've had a chance to acquire more items to replace what has been lost.

The first few aisles are a bit frivolous (except for those containing my wardrobe, of course), just some mementos of recent events and acquaintances. But beyond that, you'll find an assortment of maps (the old-fashioned kind, back when they were still printed, can you imagine the tedium of using one?), followed by various terrariums of some of the more interesting flora I've come across.

The next several aisles contain flasks, bottles, and jars full of specimens. Some are living creatures, some are inanimate objects, and some. . . frankly, I'm just not sure. (Bottled Happiness? Really? How trite. I suspect someone just jammed one of those obnoxiously gauche smiley face buttons into a bottle, but at least it was cheap.) After the bottled specimens, we have the framed ones, the aquarium fish, and some sort of lizard that had the audacity to attempt to steal from me. And finally, the last aisle holds my collection of items about collecting. Quite the clever little way to end the tour, don't you think?

What? I beg your pardon! Howard must have sneaked The Joys of Bra Collecting in there, for it certainly isn't mine. Hmph.

Anyhow, I really must be about my business. Take your time, and don't touch anything. If you have any questions, on your way out you may speak to my assist-- ugh. Never mind.

. . . Hmmm.

By any chance, you wouldn't happen to be looking for an employment opportunity, would you?

Pet Treasure

Runaway Eyeliner

Sui Spooley

High-End Eyebrow Brush

Lililace GoldenRags Volumizing Hair Mousse

Snowfall Shawl

Bleached Rabbit Fur Cuff

Giselle Thrift Rat Ruff of Wonders

Butterfly Bandages

Tension Bandage (Face)

Makeshift Bandage


Cocktail Shaker

Making the Perfect Cocktail

Getting Drunk With Style

I Dont Always Drink Sticker

You Missed a Spot Sticker

Time to Shine

Frame Polishing Kit

Iconic Comic Book

Space Prince Rag Doll

Tree Guardian Rag Doll


Raccoon Cuddle Buddy

Little Laika Doll

Sibling Sticker

Sibling Diary

Hydrus Cube

Electro Cube Beanbag

Cube Blub

Precious Gems of Discord

Rainbow Gems

Colorful Gemstone

Stone of Elements

Galaxy Orb

Inverted Galaxy Orb

Mystical Orb of the Gods

Magical Mystical Orb

Aurora Galaxy Crystal

Subeta Globe

Atebus Globe

Model of the Solar System

Heavy Magnifying Glass

Old Magnifier

Pocket Magnifier

Subeta Map

Atebus Map

Darkside Map

Sacred Lands Map

Star Chart

Cartographer Tool Kit

Handy Atlas

Sea Charts

Dusty Old Map

Dystopian Lands Map

Bundle of Old Maps

Pirate Treasure Map

Riverside Pirate Maps

Desert Pirate Map

Arctic Pirate Map

Spirited Pirate Map

Island Pirate Map

Dangerous Pirate Map

Space Pirate Map

Salty Chart Pieces

Hazard Map

Worn Betapark Map

Treasure Map Guide

Treasure Map Piece 1

Treasure Map Piece 2

Treasure Map Piece 3

Treasure Map Piece 4

Treasure Map Piece 5

Treasure Map Piece 6

Treasure Map Piece 7

Treasure Map Piece 8

Treasure Map Piece 9

Uncharted Land Map Piece 1

Uncharted Land Map Piece 2

Uncharted Land Map Piece 3

Uncharted Land Map Piece 4

Uncharted Land Map Piece 5

Uncharted Land Map Piece 6

Uncharted Land Map Piece 7

Uncharted Land Map Piece 8

Uncharted Land Map Piece 9

Box of Space Dust

Domed Reliquary

Squat Reliquary

Vase Reliquary

Box Reliquary

Dragon Of The Sky Perfume

Saheric Spirit Perfume

Sacred Jewel Perfume

Rainbow Essence

Miniature Rainbow Essence

Dillema Corrupted Soul

Enchanted Forest Terrarium

Pitcher Plant Terrarium

Oddly Shaped Terrarium

Old Jar Terrarium

Discarded Coffee Pot Terrarium

Used Bulb Terrarium

Glass Bottle Terrarium

Beachside Terrarium

Love Plant Potion

Sunken Ship Terrarium

Kraken Terrarium

Delphi Specimen Jar Mask

Preserved Riverside Flower Mask

Enchanted Rose

Enchanted Flower Vase

Rift Queen Hydroponic Seedling

Bottled Wind

Bottled Hatred

Captured Flame

Bottled Dark Matter Aura

Small Bottle of Liquid Shadow

Flask of Liquid Shadow

Red Celestial Flask

Yellow Celestial Flask

Green Celestial Flask

Blue Celestial Flask

Purple Celestial Flask

Nest Of Spiders Wet Specimen

Clawed Monster Wet Specimen

Mouthy Monster Wet Specimen

Ink Monster Wet Specimen

Bloody Wet Specimen

Captured Blood Droplet

Captured Mold Spore

Captured Rot Particles

Captured Grave Dust

Captured Bone Fragment

Bubbling Mildew

Bubbling Venom

Bubbling Bonedust

Preserved Skull in a Jar

Medicinal Leeches

Jar of Captured Snowflakes

Sparkling Winter Dust

Captured Bubbles

Left Arm Mutagen

Right Arm Mutagen

Contained Virus

Portable Test Tube

Elixir of Love

Fake Bloodred Potion

Bottled Lightning

Bottled Fire

Phoenix Ashes

Bottled Ice

Jack Frosts Bottled Breath

Crocodile Tears


Bottled Bunny Pixi

Bottled Charlie

Bottled Duckie

Bottled Fake Gold

Bottled Voodoo Doll

Bottled Skele-Bits

Bottled Mummy

Bottled Cream Quill

Dinghy in a Bottle

Pickled Pie

Promotional Captured Dark Matter Companion

Captured Wisp

Captured Baby Lightning Sylph

Helpless Bottled Hipottu

Bottled Harvest Moon

Bottled Night

Bottled Day

Bottled Montre Head

Bottled Bird Head

Root Forest Sample

Ghost Ship Terrarium

Enchanted Bottle of Forest

Enchanted Bottle of Sea

Gold Dust

Ruffie Bottled Breath

Bottled School Girl Shriek

Bottled Vacuum

Bottled Spaceship

Bottled Quark

Bottled Moon Sand

Bottled Star

Bottled Moon

Bottled Alien

Captured Pixie

Bottled Moon Rock

Bottled Happiness

Bottled Sunset Sand

Darkside Sand Vial

Delphi Sand Vial

Veta Sand Vial

Arctic Frost Sand Vial

Sacred Lands Sand Vial

Blue Vial of Sand

Purple Vial of Sand

Pink Vial of Sand

White Vial of Sand

Ocean Grit

Bottle of Sand

Bottle of Saheric Sand

Bottled Dark Matter

Bottled Love Matter

Red Bottled Fire Spirit

Yellow Bottled Fire Spirit

Blue Bottled Fire Spirit

Purple Bottled Fire Spirit

Pink Bottled Fire Spirit

Pickled Whole Brain

Thing in a Jar

Gathered Goblin Eyes

Ruffie Flea Infestation

Jar Of Annoying Flies

Fireflies in a Jar

Glowy Green Bug Lantern

Pink Bottled Butterfly

Orange Bottled Butterfly

Yellow Bottled Butterfly

Green Bottled Butterfly

Entranced Red Snow Fairy

Entranced Yellow Snow Fairy

Entranced Green Snow Fairy

Entranced Bluegreen Snow Fairy

Entranced Snow Fairy

Entranced Violet Snow Fairy

Entranced White Snow Fairy

Entranced Pink Snow Fairy

Decorative Birdcage

Framed Ladybug Specimen

Framed Honeybee Specimen

Framed Grasshopper Specimen

Framed Orchid Mantis Specimen

Framed Praying Mantis Specimen

Framed Dragonfly Specimen

Captured Lizard Minion

Empty Aquarium

Aquarium Swordtail Fish

Aquarium Goldfish

Aquarium Guppy

Aquarium Betta

Aquarium Pufferfish

Old Box of Ornaments

Box of Childhood Memories

Little Collector

Likes To Collect Statement Tee

The Connoisseur Magazine

Galleries 101

Rotten Rogues Guide to Antiques

All About Coins

Collecting Seashells for Beginners

Advanced Seashell Collecting

Collecting Cards

Guide to Toy Collecting

The Joys of Bra Collecting

Book of Stuff

Guide to Bluffing

Toy Collector Trading Card

Minion Collector Trading Card

Pet Friends