Information


Myfi has a minion!

Watch out for the Crazy Matter




Myfi
Legacy Name: Myfi


The Spectrum Kerubi
Owner: Yuzu

Age: 15 years, 11 months, 3 weeks

Born: April 6th, 2008

Adopted: 15 years, 11 months, 3 weeks ago (Legacy)

Adopted: April 6th, 2008 (Legacy)


Pet Spotlight Winner
September 13th, 2018

Statistics


  • Level: 3
     
  • Strength: 10
     
  • Defense: 10
     
  • Speed: 10
     
  • Health: 10
     
  • HP: 10/10
     
  • Intelligence: 11
     
  • Books Read: 11
  • Food Eaten: 1
  • Job: Unemployed



"MEE-fee"

Love knows
no boundaries.


I remember sitting in my science classroom in middle school, when I was about 12 years old, watching a group of girls sit in a circle and show each other pictures of celebrities or classmates and go "Omigosh, isn't he so cute?" at each other, and talk about how they had "such a huge crush" on them, and I remember being completely and totally unable to comprehend how it was even possible to like somebody you didn't even know based on nothing other than looks. That was the moment I first realized there was something different about me. I never had "crushes" and when people asked who I thought was cute, I would just shrug. To this day, I am unable to comprehend this... this THING they call physical attraction. I have no idea. The concept is beyond me.

It wasn't until almost eight years later that I discovered that it had a name: asexuality. That is to say, people who do not experience physical attraction.

I can't tell you the relief I felt when I found out that it wasn't just me, that it had a name, and that there were hundreds of other people out there who experienced the same thing. I felt like I found a part of myself that I had been looking for.

Still, looking back, I still tried to convince myself that I was straight every chance I had. That I was supposed to like boys, even if I couldn't care about how they looked. Every time I caught my eyes drifting toward a girl, I'd snap them away and bury my feelings, because they were "wrong". I never figured out why I did that. I guess a small part of me believed that I could fall in love with the right guy if I ever found him; that I was supposed to love a guy, because it was expected of me.

I even dated a guy all through high school. We met online, during that weird revolutionary time at the beginning of the era of online relationships. We were only 13 when we met, he was only 3 days older than me, we had a lot in common and became good friends first. I was happy the first time he told me that he loved me. I was completely convinced that I loved him too. Looking back on that time now, I think I did love him at one point, but I couldn't tell you if it was ever a romantic love, or just "friend love". Maybe I wanted to believe that it was romantic love, or maybe I was just stupid and loved the idea that I could finally be a princess and have my prince charming.

We met in person for the first time when we were 16. He didn't live too far away, and we met in a public place. My mother, sisters, and two friends were with me, and it went off without a hitch. We began seeing each other regularly after that. He even came to my senior prom when we were 17.

We dated until we were about 19 years old. We kind of started drifting apart after we started college and entered adulthood. I'm not sure what exactly happened. I guess we eventually figured out that we wanted different things from a relationship. He wanted a physical relationship, I wanted an emotional one like I felt we had had since the beginning, but he became less and less interested in talking about anything other than sex, which was something I hated and didn't want to do.

I broke up with him a few months before our 20th birthdays.

It was during that year that I discovered that I was asexual. I remember thinking back to that moment when I was 12, when I realized I was different, and decided to actually look into it. It makes me slightly irate that I have to explain what asexuality is six years later, but whatever. Apparently, asexuals only make up about 2% of the american population, which makes us rare and largely unheard of. It also makes me irate that people hear the term "asexual" and ASSUME it means something and then get pissed off when actual asexual people try to correct them. (Since then, one of my mottos has become: ASSUME NOTHING. QUESTION EVERYTHING.)

Once asexuality had become an established part of my identity, though, I still felt like I had something to figure out. Like the asexuality was only half of my orientation, which it was.

And for the next few years, I continued to dwell on it and try to figure out, all the while still trying to convince myself that I could love a man. In order to give myself the benefit of the doubt, I went with "asexual pan-romantic" as my orientation. I truly wanted to believe that I could love any person for who they were in their heart, regardless of their physical appearance or gender identity.

I eventually managed to accept the fact that I had a preference for women, but I still held on to that one tiny fragment of me that wanted to believe it could love a man, if I ever found the right one.

I let this drag itself out for a good three years. The gears didn't start turning again until one day, I found myself telling a creepy customer that I was a lesbian in an attempt to get him to leave me alone. I've since then moved jobs. Still, for the next year, I could feel that question bouncing around somewhere in a corner of my brain, asking myself whether or not "pan-romantic" was accurate.

I'm not even sure what happened. Just, one day, out of no where, it was as though something clicked in my brain, and suddenly every moment in my life where I questioned my identity made sense. It was as though I'd been cranking a jack-in-the-box slowly over the course of several years, and the jack finally freaking popped out. I remember standing there, stunned, letting it sink in. I whispered to myself, "I'm homo-romantic," and then repeated it to myself a few times, just to make sure it actually felt right after the shock subsided.

The sense of peace that came over me in that moment was all I needed to feel to know that I'd finally found my answer. I immediately called my mom to talk to her about it. My mom and I are super close, and we have so much in common, so I knew she would support me immediately, which she did. I have since then told everyone in my life, and started talking as though it was no secret that I'm gay.

Even though "asexual homo-romantic" is the most accurate name for my orientation, because I am cis-gender female, it is technically not wrong to say I'm a lesbian. It's actually easier to say I'm a lesbian to folks now than it is to try to explain what asexuality is, so I just kind of roll with it.

Even though I'm officially "out of the closet", I'm still getting out there. I've been single since I broke up with my high school sweetheart, and I think I'm finally starting to register on people's "gaydars".

I cannot tell you how happy and free I feel now, knowing that I can finally be true to myself without trying to convince myself that I can be something that I never was.

Myfi's story is Yuzu's actual story of self-discovery, written by Yuzu from 1st-person POV.

Story and Profile by Yuzu

Pet Treasure


P Sticker

R Sticker

I Sticker

D Sticker

E Sticker

Cherry Tart Heart

Pride T-shirt

Pride Love Sticker

Rainbow Star Rod

Rainbow Confetti Heart Balloon

Orange Tart Heart

A Sticker

C Sticker

E Sticker

Addition Sticker

Lemon Tart Heart

H Sticker

O Sticker

M Sticker

O Sticker

Lime Tart Heart

Sack of Love

Stone of Elements

Candle of Unity

The Art of Falling in Love

Blueberry Tart Heart

Rainbow Candy Heart

Love and Peace

Ace of Spades Sticker

Sweethearts Diary

Grape Tart Heart

Rainbow Essence

Book of Happy Rainbows

Rainbow Print Bookmark

Spectrum Fables

Raspberry Tart Heart

Spectrum Pinwheel

Rainbow Gems

Rainbowlicious Yarn

What is Love?

Bottled Love Matter

L Sticker

O Sticker

V Sticker

E Sticker

W Sticker

I Sticker

N Sticker

S Sticker

Snapshot of a Kiss

Pet Friends