Information


Jalmari has a minion!

Azumi the Nian




Jalmari
Legacy Name: Jalmari


The Blacklight Escalade
Owner: Alkuna

Age: 15 years, 9 months, 2 weeks

Born: July 3rd, 2008

Adopted: 8 years, 8 months, 3 weeks ago

Adopted: August 1st, 2015

Statistics


  • Level: 21
     
  • Strength: 52
     
  • Defense: 53
     
  • Speed: 53
     
  • Health: 52
     
  • HP: 52/52
     
  • Intelligence: 40
     
  • Books Read: 33
  • Food Eaten: 0
  • Job: Unemployed


Jalmari (yahl-marr-ee)- Finnish form of Scandinavian Hjalmar, meaning 'helmet-warrior.'

Jalmari is a trickster, notorious for trouble making on a massive scale.

Quotes:

I like my men how I like my coffee: ground up and in the freezer.

I've got the perfect body but it's at home in the freezer.

Are the voices in my head bothering you?

I really hate it when the voices in my head argue among themselves as though I wasn't even in the room.

Jalmari: "Did you just imply that you've 'set us up the bomb'?
XXX: "What? NO!
Jalmari: "Oh good. I was afraid I was going to hurt you on principle, rather than for fun.

Jalmari: I don't get mad, I get evil.
Victim: Uh, don't you mean 'even'?
Jalmari: No.

Gone crazy, back soon.

Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some souls to corrupt and values to twist.

Why kill with kindness when you can use an ax?

Nothing satisfies my psychotic urges quite like burying a 12 inch blade into a melon.

Go to hell!
Sorry, can't do that. Satan still has a restraining order against me.

I may be schizophrenic but at least I have each other.

I'm the quiet neighbor... with the big freezer.

You should fear me. If you don't, you're not paying attention.

You shouldn't bother using honey to attract flies; you need a corpse for best results.

If you want to make somebody disappear, you need a wood chipper and a big river.

You know the line about turning the other cheek? Here's mine. *points to his butt* Kiss it.

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