Information
Azumi the Nian
Jalmari
Legacy Name: Jalmari
The Blacklight Escalade
Owner: Alkuna
Age: 15 years, 9 months, 2 weeks
Born: July 3rd, 2008
Adopted: 8 years, 8 months, 3 weeks ago
Adopted: August 1st, 2015
Statistics
- Level: 21
- Strength: 52
- Defense: 53
- Speed: 53
- Health: 52
- HP: 52/52
- Intelligence: 40
- Books Read: 33
- Food Eaten: 0
- Job: Unemployed
Quotes:
I like my men how I like my coffee: ground up and in the freezer.
I've got the perfect body but it's at home in the freezer.
Are the voices in my head bothering you?
I really hate it when the voices in my head argue among themselves as though I wasn't even in the room.
Jalmari: "Did you just imply that you've 'set us up the bomb'?
XXX: "What? NO!
Jalmari: "Oh good. I was afraid I was going to hurt you on principle, rather than for fun.
Jalmari: I don't get mad, I get evil.
Victim: Uh, don't you mean 'even'?
Jalmari: No.
Gone crazy, back soon.
Well, if you'll excuse me, I have some souls to corrupt and values to twist.
Why kill with kindness when you can use an ax?
Nothing satisfies my psychotic urges quite like burying a 12 inch blade into a melon.
Go to hell!
Sorry, can't do that. Satan still has a restraining order against me.
I may be schizophrenic but at least I have each other.
I'm the quiet neighbor... with the big freezer.
You should fear me. If you don't, you're not paying attention.
You shouldn't bother using honey to attract flies; you need a corpse for best results.
If you want to make somebody disappear, you need a wood chipper and a big river.
You know the line about turning the other cheek? Here's mine. *points to his butt* Kiss it.