The Double has a minion!

Strexpet the Clockwork Robo-Blob Kitty

The future is what you make of it. Just know that your supplies are limited. Welcome to Desert Bluffs.

Listeners! It appears we have two new Human Resources officers here at StrexCorp. One appears to be a tall man-shaped being with purple eyes (so lovely!) and the other a shorter being with darker eyes. More on our new friends in a moment, but first lets have a look at today's traffic.

Machines clogging the veins of the society they themselves have created. Use alternate routes. This has been, traffic.

It seems that the new Human Resources Office has already begun to draw a crowd, despite not even being officially open yet. Many gathered are waiting patiently and orderly with forms and other paperwork, though it seems one or two in the line are glaring scornfully at the office windows. According to on site witnesses, the angry employees seem to be starting to outnumber those with genuine need.

In other news, Grandma Josephine is posting a $5 reward for information on Giovanni's whereabouts. It seems the horned collective have not been seen since late last night. If anyone has any information, please tell the nearest security officer and it will reach Grandma Josephine. And hey, you can spend that sweet reward at today's sponsor:
StrexCorp Synernists, Inc. Working hard so you can work harder.
Work harder.
Seriously.
Work.
Harder.
StrexCorp.
Get to work!

And now a look at this week's Community Calendar:

Sunday: Work
Monday is a lie that someone told you in order to poison you against the idea of starting your work week. Who told you this lie? Point them out to us, and we’ll make sure that they don’t tell you any more lies. Isn’t that nice? Just honest folks, dealing honestly with other honest folks. Just point out the liar, and denounce them.
Tuesday is a work day! All StrexCorp-owned homes and businesses, which is to say all homes and businesses, should work all day in their most productive and enthusiastic way. Work is how we all become better people! You do want to become a better person, right? You want to be valued, you want to have value, you want your value, numerically speaking, to increase? Then work! It’s Work Day!
Wednesday, work day. Keep working, StrexCorp employees! Don’t stop!
Thursday is another work day!
Friday is “Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Put Your Daughter to Work Day. Teach Your Daughter How to Do Whatever Simple Task It Is You are Paid to Do and Then, Once She has Mastered It, Slip Away and Leave Her as Your Replacement Day. If you do not have a daughter, one will be assigned to you. If you do have a daughter, are you sure you do?
Saturday is the mandatory company picnic at the Edge Of Town development. Remember, participation is mandatory!

Wow what a busy week! Lots of fun coming our way, but before it gets here, let's look at today's horoscopes:

The stars are silent. They have been absent from the sky for weeks now. They refuse to tell us anything. Perhaps the silence is for our own protection.

Well, that was kind of off-putting, oh! Listeners! It seems Giovanni has been found within the line outside of the new HR office. They have begun shouting things such as "Traitor!" and "Angel lover!". This is no way to welcome new employees to Stre...Ap? Apollyn! Listeners I need to catch my producer, so for now, I leave you with the weather!

I'm back dear listeners and do I have a tale to report. Even though I was only minutes behind him, Apollyn easily beat me to the new HR office. It was hard to miss him with those dark leathery wings of his. Instantly the bulk of the line backed away leaving only Giovanni and Apollyn staring each other down.

"I suggest you follow suit," Ap growled.

"They're a traitor to our kind!" One of the Giovannis protested.

"I Said Stand Down! These two have my protection in a way you lot can't. Now go home before you force my hand!" A yellow glow enveloped Apollyn as his horns burst forth.

And then they were gone, sent back to Grandma Josephine with their tails between their legs so to speak as Apollyn turned back to nod at the pair in the window, who nodded back, before following me back to the station. Family quarrels, am I right?

And as always, until next time, Desert Bluffs. Until next time.

Profile template by Lea
Overlay by Necolasa
Welcome to Night Vale created by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor
Kevin's background from The Night Vale Wiki
Today's Weather is Sweet Caroline by Neil Diamond

Today's proverb: Step one: separate your lips. Step two: use facial muscles to pull back corners of mouth. Step three: widen your eyes. This is how to be happy.

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