Information

Tailshaft has a minion!

Oopsie the Bobo

Tailshaft
Legacy Name: Tailshaft

The

Steamwork Kanis
Owner:

Mirror

Age: 17 years, 5 months, 2 weeks

Born: November 4th, 2006

Adopted: 17 years, 5 months, 2 weeks ago (Legacy)

Adopted: November 4th, 2006 (Legacy)

Nominate Pet for Spotlight

Statistics

Level: 58
Strength: 128
Defense: 102
Speed: 103
Health: 106
HP: 106/106
Intelligence: 123
Books Read: 122
Food Eaten: 0
Job: Silver Specialist

T A I L S H A F T storyline

It all started when our adventure-loving...adventurer, Tailshaft, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling alarmingly frustrated, Tailshaft grabbed a gerbil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Heart filled with earnest fortitude, he realized that his beloved ipad was missing! Immediately he called his parole officer, Dametrius. Tailshaft had known Dametrius for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were striking ones. Dametrius was unique. He was intelligent though sometimes a little... selfish. Tailshaft called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.

Dametrius picked up to a very unhappy Tailshaft. Dametrius calmly assured him that most man-eating capybaras sneeze before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually scandalously cringe *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Tailshaft. Why was Dametrius trying to distract Tailshaft? Because he had snuck out from Tailshaft's with the ipad only eleven days prior. It was a exotic little ipad... how could he resist?

It didn't take long before Tailshaft got back to the subject at hand: his ipad. Dametrius yawned. Relunctantly, Dametrius invited him over, assuring him they'd find the ipad. Tailshaft grabbed his hammock and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Dametrius realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the ipad and he had to do it randomly. He figured that if Tailshaft took the tricked out go kart, he had take at least four minutes before Tailshaft would get there. But if he took the steamwork bike? Then Dametrius would be very screwed.

Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Dametrius was interrupted by five clueless hippos that were lured by his ipad. Dametrius sighed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he carefully reached for his banana and skillfully stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the fanstic pumpkin patch, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the steamwork bike rolling up. It was Tailshaft.

----o0o----

As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of dull pencils, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Tailshaft was out of the steamwork bike and went sassily jaunting toward Dametrius's front door. Meanwhile inside, Dametrius was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the ipad into a box of dangerous oil-soaked rags and then slid the box behind his elephant. Dametrius was relieved but at least the ipad was concealed. The doorbell rang.

'Come in,' Dametrius charismatically purred. With a hasty push, Tailshaft opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some annoying self-righteous ass in a time machine,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Dametrius assured him. Tailshaft took a seat excruciatingly close to where Dametrius had hidden the ipad. Dametrius cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Tailshaft was distracted. With fist clenched and teeth gnashed, Dametrius noticed a insensitive look on Tailshaft's face. Tailshaft slowly opened his mouth to speak.

'...What's that smell?'

Dametrius felt a stabbing pain in his armpit when Tailshaft asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the ipad right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Tailshaft's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet spotted wolf hamsters. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Tailshaft nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Dametrius could react, Tailshaft aimlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The ipad was plainly in view.

Tailshaft stared at Dametrius for what what must've been ten days. A few freaknasty minutes later, Dametrius groped explosively in Tailshaft's direction, clearly desperate. Tailshaft grabbed the ipad and bolted for the door. It was locked. Dametrius let out a flamboyant chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Tailshaft,' he rebuked. Dametrius always had been a little oafish, so Tailshaft knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Dametrius did something crazy, like... start chucking ninja stars at him or something. Before anyone could take off their pants, he gripped his ipad tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.

Dametrius looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Tailshaft. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame two days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Tailshaft. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Dametrius walked over to the window and looked down. Tailshaft was gone.

----o0o---- Just yonder, Tailshaft was struggling to make his way through the lemur-infested moor behind Dametrius's place. Tailshaft had severely hurt his prostate during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral hippos suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the ipad. One by one they latched on to Tailshaft. Already weakened from his injury, Tailshaft yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of hippos running off with his ipad.

But then God came down with His smart smile and restored Tailshaft's ipad. Feeling exasperated, God smote the hippos for their injustice. Then He got in His tricked out go kart and sputtered away with the fortitude of 200,000 legless puppies running from a shrunken pack of 3-legged wallabies. Tailshaft stumbled with joy when he saw this. His ipad was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show, , was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When Indonesian devil cats meet hand grenade'). Tailshaft was pleased. And so, everyone except Dametrius and a few unborn fetus-toting South American hissing sloths lived blissfully happy, forever after.